Carrying Them with Us
Living through Pregnancy or Infant Loss
- Counseling, Grief & Mental Health
- Publisher: Fortress Press (Augsburg Fortress)
- Published: 2019
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Publisher's Description
Carrying Them with Us: Living through Pregnancy and Infant Loss is a reflection on what pastors David Engelstad and Catherine Malotky have learned since the day in 1984 when their eight-week-old daughter Erin died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Drawing on their own loss, they offer themselves as companions to parents who struggle to deal with the end of an eagerly anticipated pregnancy or the death of a joyfully welcomed baby. Readers will find in Carrying Them with Us comfort and wisdom, a spiritual perspective, and practical guidance. The authors also invite into this journey the caregivers--family, clergy and medical professionals, and friends--who accompany grieving parents. The book is organized around five questions the authors have found central to many parents' unfolding story: (1) How can this have happened? (2) Why do I feel like this? (3) How do I keep going? (4) What do I make of life after this? And (5) Who am I becoming?
Endorsements (3)
“Of all the books I have read in three decades as a grief therapist, this book by Catherine Malotky and David Engelstad stands out as one of the most compassionate, nonjudgmental, and heartfelt of all. The authors, bereaved from the death of their two-month-old daughter Erin, draw upon their own pain, doubts, and vulnerabilities to offer readers a resource that speaks both to the heart and to the head. The gentle suggestions they make for how to cope and how to help others are varied and practical. The authors will move you from the early pain of a loss to a consideration of how you might grow through the experience. This book is not limited to pregnancy and infant loss. I found the wise words of these seasoned pastors comforting in the loss of my spouse and my adult daughter. I would highly recommend this book to you.”
“Carrying Them with Us is a gentle, compassionate message of love, faith, and hope. The authors, who understand because they’ve been there, offer loving, intentional wisdom to bereaved families and essential tips for caregivers following the loss of a baby. I especially love the reflection and discussion sections, the Bible references, and stories, along with resources for each chapter, all of which make this book uniquely helpful and special.”
“Carrying Them with Us is a treasure, a thoughtful and insightful book for those who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss and also for those who love and care for them. Engelstad and Malotky share the wisdom of their own personal journey of loss following the death of their daughter Erin. The authors offer suggestions and invitations woven with touching and tender stories of their own personal struggles and challenges. They openly and tenderly address common obstacles and validate each person’s unique experience of grief. They invite spiritual reflection and integration as they normalize this painful and intense time. As an ACCE Childbirth Educator for thirty years and as a chaplain working in Maternal Child Health, I see this book as a beautiful resource that will inspire healing and personal growth.”
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