Past Present
How to Stop Making the Same Relationship Mistakes—and Start Building a Better Life
- Marriage, Family & Relationships
- Publisher: Nelson Books (Thomas Nelson)
- Published: 2020
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Publisher's Description
Past Present shows readers how to change destructive relationship patterns by identifying the root issues from their pasts and finding the source of healing for their unique stories. No matter where we are in life, both our greatest joys and our deepest heartaches are linked to the people in our lives--family, friends, or coworkers. And each of us brings both beauty and brokenness into relationships. The origins of our beauty and our brokenness often can be traced to the patterns of relating we learned when we were young. We relate to others in ways that reflect the distorted messages we heard and internalized earlier in life. The good news is this: we don't have to remain stuck in these patterns. In Past Present, Scott Vaudrey equips us with tools and a strategy to identify the messages we've internalized--both as children and as adults--from the influential people in our lives; refute and repair the distorted messages that led to unhelpful patterns now holding us back; and recognize the productive messages we've internalized and maximize the strengths they built into us along the way. We can't undo yesterday. But we can do the rest of our lives better.
Endorsements (6)
“I read Past Present at a time when I was eager to understand what patterns from my past still have a negative hold on me now as a senior citizen. With the diagnostic precision you’d expect from an MD, Scott Vaudrey provides remarkable insight and clarity to the complexities of early life, guiding readers on a path toward a healthier today. He takes readers on a journey, employing a set of tools, that will help them identify childhood wounds, reassess those wounds through an adult filter, and step into a new beginning with greater emotional freedom. I benefited tremendously from this book and would highly recommend it to anyone struggling to emerge from the dark storms of their early life. Thank you, Scott, for helping me unlock my past for the benefit of my present.”
“This book is for anyone who wants to understand themselves at a deeper level. Tremendously well-written, Past Present took a hold of me from the first chapter to the end. Dr. Vaudrey helps you to recognize relational patterns and to look at your past from a new angle. He equips you to make changes that will improve your life today. This book is deeply thoughtful, engaging, and at times piercing. I highly recommend it.”
“Past Present is an amazing resource! It’s the only resource I’ve found that connects all the dots between my upbringing and my relationships today. Dr. Vaudrey comes at this from three perspectives: medical, seasoned leadership, and personal experience. My wife and I have already had some key conversations over this remarkable content, and I’m buying copies for friends.”
Dr. Terry Franson
“What a gift Scott gives to anyone looking for deeper understanding on the origins of psychological pain. Chapter 6 alone should be required reading for anyone in a significant relationship. Leave it to a former emergency room physician to bring clarity and rigor to the process of diagnosing the origins of our emotional suffering. He outlines the science behind our negative reactions and provides effective methods for constructively managing our emotions. Past Present integrates the best therapeutic processes with comprehensive research, and Scott adds his own story of healing along with dozens of practical examples of how this process works. As a psychologist with more than thirty years on the front row of psychological pain and healing, I believe this book offers readers the key to understanding one’s core psychological wounds, and a road map for healing and personal growth.”
“Once again Dr. Vaudrey proves to be a faithful guide. The wisdom and simple, practical tools included in this book helped me make the connection between my messages of past wounds and my story today. While many of us know that our painful memories shaped us in some way, we get stuck ruminating on past experiences or we look to external circumstances to explain our unhappiness. Past Present helps you understand the relationship between past hurts and the healthy relationships we all desire, while helping you gain control over the trajectory of your relationships today.”
“As a business owner with a relational style of leadership, I care deeply about providing quality leadership to my 500+ employees. When things go wrong at work, it almost always involves a relational breakdown, and quick fixes don’t fix anything. anything. In Past Present, Vaudrey outlines a laser-clear road map for gaining insight into how I interact with others. As he writes, ‘I want to screw up my relationships a little bit less every day.’ It’s a mindset change. The time you invest in reading this book and using these tools to explore your own relationships will pay huge dividends in your organization, and the payoff will bring real, lasting change—at work and at home.”
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