Teen Mom

“Tricia Goyer has walked the road of being a teen mom and is full of hope, comfort, and wisdom. This book not only will help teen moms but is a wonderful guide for grandparents, friends, and mentors of teen moms. Written with compassion, this book is practical, real, engaging, and encouraging. This book will bless the hearts of young moms and give them hope and strength.”

Courtney Joseph

“Tricia Goyer has done it again! Teen Mom not only takes us on a rollercoaster ride of teen moms’ experiences, but she makes one point crystal clear: that the way you start has nothing to do with the way you end. This book encourages women of all ages, letting them know that it’s never too late to have a bright future.”

Angelia White

“Teen Mom, your life is moving in a new direction now, a direction full of potential and purpose. Tricia Goyer has given you a beautiful gift between the covers of this book. I encourage you to unwrap it. All the inspiration and information you need is within these pages.”

Tracy Steel

“What I love most about Teen Mom is it’s filled with wisdom and solid encouragement. I wish I’d had this book when I was twenty-one, pregnant, unmarried, and scared to death. Tricia’s words are like a balm of reassurance for the young woman who can’t see past the two lines on her pregnancy test.”

Erin Bishop

“Those who work with teen moms know how difficult it is to find good resources, so it’s great news to have this engaging, encouraging, challenging, and truthful book written about the issues that matter to young mothers. Finally, something just for them!”

Crystal Kirgiss

“and challenging. Tricia understands all the issues teen moms face, and she empowers them to own their role as mothers with faith, hope, and courage. All teen moms and mothers of these teens need this book. Highly recommended.”

Sally Clarkson

“Me . . . a Mom? 1. Do I Matter? (Importance) 2. Who Am I? (Identity) 3. Where Am I Going? (Growth) 4. Do You Love Me? (Intimacy) 5. How Do I Do This Mom Thing? (Instruction) 6. Can You Help? (Help) 7. Can I Get a Break? (Recreation) 8. What’s Most Important? (Perspective) 9. What Am I Here For? (Hope) Acknowledgments Notes Credits For Further Reading Never thought one small being could change me so completely. Before I was a mom, I never realized a feeling so great, So wonderful, So intimate, As loving my own child.”

Tricia Goyer

“Me . . . A Mom? Growing up, did you imagine yourself as a mom? Did you plan for it, dream about it? Did you like the idea of having kids? I did. I loved kids, and I always thought I’d be a great mom, so why did I panic when I discovered my dream was coming true? Mostly because it was too soon. Way too soon. As a high schooler, I knew my life was about to change forever. And it did. My Story Each and every teen mom has her own story. Each and every teen mom has her own journey. My first child is twenty-five years old now, and I have a great, amazing life. But no matter what success I achieve, I’ll never forget the moment that I found out I was going to have a baby. Me? A mom? I’d always wanted a baby but never imagined it would happen at age seventeen. Like most little girls, I imagined marrying an amazing guy and becoming a mom. In bed at night, I’d let my mind wander. I pictured my future family. I wanted lots of kids, and I thought I’d be a good mom. Since I didn’t know my biological dad growing up — and my stepdad was distant and unconcerned about me — I wanted a husband who really cared about me and my kids. I wanted to be a teacher, but I don’t remember anyone talking to me about college. I got good grades, but there was so much happening in everyday life that I didn’t really look ahead. From a young age, I was obsessed with boys. I remember having crushes beginning in the fourth grade. I wasn’t pretty, and I was awkward. Another young woman, Kendra,2 found out she was pregnant when she went into the emergency room and discovered she was in labor. Talk about the shock of your life! Then there are those who are happy about being pregnant, like Kayleigh. When she was only fifteen, she wanted to have a baby. For most of her life, Kayleigh had been sexually abused. Her innocence had been taken away, and she wanted to get away from the situation. She thought expecting a baby would solve everything. She and her boyfriend could get their own place, and they could start their own family. So she was thrilled to discover she was pregnant. No matter how you found out, no matter what others thought about your pregnancy, there is one thing that all of us have in common — our lives changed. We had to think of someone other than ourselves. We had to learn how to deal with all the changes. We lost friends, and sadly, we were seen by many as simply a statistic. Everyone has an opinion about teen pregnancy. Some people see it as a problem. Some see it as an obstacle or a hinderance to teens’ future. Shows like MTV’s Teen Mom give people a glimpse into teen pregnancy, but their story is not ours. You are not a statistic. Your child is not a statistic. Your future has just as many possibilities the day after you discover that you are a pregnant teen as it did the day before. I’ll be the first to tell you that life will be harder. There are more challenges. But your life can be just as good. Things Change When you find out you’re pregnant, things change. Maybe your parents are angry; maybe they’re excited. Maybe your boyfriend is excited. Maybe he’s angry. Some teen moms stay in school and work hard to do their best, but others decide that they can’t handle one more thing and drop out of school. Some teens get support from their parents. Others get kicked out of their homes. ‘Okay, I will.’ We were filling up with gas, so I went in the gas station and took the test and it was positive,” she recalls. “So that is the glamorous way that I found out I was going to have my little nugget!”

Jamie Lynn Spears

“You are one of that 367,752, but like I said, you are more than a statistic! You are a person with hopes and dreams, with fears and needs. And so is every one of the 367,751 other moms. You’re not alone. Many others are facing the same things. Life changes for every young person; for some it changes a bit more when they become a parent. While there may not be anything glamorous about these changes, you can find help and hope. Mom, you are stronger than you think. What Do You Need? I’ve been leading a support group for teen moms for the last twelve years. Every Thursday night, I hang out with pregnant and parenting young women. I’ve led support groups in Montana and in Arkansas. I’ve met teen moms all around the US. No two moms look alike or have the same walk in life. Each one has a different story, but they all have needs. They need friendship. They need love. They need help and support. They need parenting tips. They need to know they matter. In my groups, there have been moms from middle-class families. They have their own cars and sometimes apartments. These young moms often feel like they’re the “black sheep” of the family. They were the ones who tainted their family’s perfect image, and they hear about it all the time. There are also moms who are very familiar with teen pregnancy. Their moms were teen moms. Their aunties were teen moms. Their grandmothers were teen moms. It’s not a surprise when they become teen moms too. Whether teen pregnancy is unique to your family or it’s common, whether you are from a middle-class family or your family struggles to 1 Do I Matter? Importance The deepest principle in the human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”

William James

“I regretted attending the basketball game as soon as I got there. My classmates, teachers, and friends’ parents cheered on our school’s basketball team. I moved to the bleachers closest to the door and climbed to the top row, sitting next to some of my friends. My jeans pinched my stomach as I sat. They were the biggest pair I had, and at five months pregnant, I’d barely been able to button them up. Now they cut into my gut, but I tried to ignore the pinching feeling. I tried to ignore how my body was changing and how I had no control of it. I also tried to ignore the glances as people eyed me. Could they see the baby bump that I was trying so hard to hide? After finding out I was pregnant, everything changed. I felt so sick that even on days when I attended school, I usually went home early. Soon it was easier just to stay home altogether. I couldn’t work either. Every whiff of fast-food smell made me nauseated. Of course, I didn’t fit in at home either. My parents did their best to be supportive, but I discovered that I had to make so many decisions myself, like how to finish school and what I was going to do after my baby was born. I was still a kid in their house, and at times they liked to treat me as one, but I was also making so many big decisions. Was I just fooling myself thinking I could handle all of this? In this life we cannot always do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”

Mother Teresa