Mike Beller

Escaping Enemy Mode

Counseling, Grief & Mental Health

“When you understand enemy mode and learn to recognize when you are in it, then you can start practicing how to avoid it. On the street I have often found myself in a rapidly deteriorating exchange with a suspect. One of my best techniques, if I catch things early, is to say, 'Wait, let's start over. This doesn't have to be adversarial, I'm not like those other cops!' Whether I agree with the suspect's evaluation of what other cops are like is irrelevant, I am forming a bond by acknowledging their reality. I've learned to recognize pitfalls in myself that will take me into enemy mode in a heartbeat. It is easy to ignore the feelings of others when we have white knight syndrome and are fighting for a 'worthy cause.' It is my hope that by applying the techniques presented in this book you will grab hold of the best version of you, achieve win-win solutions, and strengthen your relationships with those around you.”