My Two Elaines
Learning, Coping, and Surviving as an Alzheimer’s Caregiver
- Counseling, Grief & Mental Health
- Publisher: Harper Horizon (HarperCollins Focus)
- Published: 2022
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Publisher's Description
In My Two Elaines, author Marty Schreiber, former governor of Wisconsin, watches his beloved wife, Elaine, gradually transform from the woman he fell in love with in high school, and who diligently supported his political career, to the Elaine who knows she is declining and can't remember how to cook a meal, and finally to the Elaine who no longer recognizes Marty or their children. One part love story, one part practical advice, this compelling book includes several unique elements: Excerpts from Elaine's journal, recounting her thoughts, concerns, and frustrations as the disease progresses A recurring feature called "What I Wish I’d Known," which provides helpful takeaways for caregivers based on Marty's observations about what he wishes he'd known sooner and done differently A Q&A between Marty and neuropsychologist Dr. Michelle Braun, to equip caregivers with the right questions to ask and empower them to advocate for their loved ones and their own needs Beyond sincere, practical advice, My Two Elaines gives the reader permission to feel the full spectrum of emotions, including humor, even in the face of this relentless illness. And the book speaks to anyone touched by this disease--spouse, child, friend, or family member.
Endorsements (14)
“Praise for My Two Elaines and Marty Schreiber Best Caregiver Books Caring.com 100 Best Alzheimer’s Books of All Time BookAuthority #2 Senior Social Media Influencers You Should Follow, 2018 Lively Headliner Award, 2019 Milwaukee Press Club Caregiver of the Week, August 2017 The Women’s Alzheimer’s Movement Special Service Award, 2016 Alzheimer’s Association City of Milwaukee “Superhero,” 2016 Milwaukee Press Club “If you or someone you know is a caregiver, this is a must-read. Your loved one really does become a different person. As I learned from my mom’s dementia, learning how to deal with her was key to everyone’s sanity. There are many helpful hints here.”
“At one moment this book is a heart-wrenching account of the devastating toll of Alzheimer’s, and the next moment it is a heart-wrenching love story. The minute you are holding your breath at the brutality of the disease, Marty rescues you with a concrete, doable message that can lead to lovely moments of joy. No health-care professional, family member, or caregiver should be without it.”
“Marty shares his personal story with dignity and grace. My Two Elaines helps the caregiver realize you must take care of yourself, have a sense of humor, and take advantage of help to survive the stressful days ahead. It is a great resource for families.”
“Your book is now at the top of my list—written from the heart, reinforcing yet honest.”
“This wonderful book gives a personal perspective of a couple’s journey with Alzheimer’s disease as they reach out for help and support. The personal sharing, the compelling development of Marty, and his insights as a caregiver all provide for an important message.”
“Marty has truly captured the essence of loving and caring for somebody with this disease. His book is insightful, thoughtful, heart-warming, and respectful. Marty’s sense of humor and abundant patience surely are a blessing for Elaine.”
“To be complete, stories about Alzheimer’s disease and caregiving must touch on both defeats and triumphs. In My Two Elaines, Governor Schreiber stirs the hearts of readers both with great suffering and great love inherent to the caregiving journey, lightening the load with humor. He introduces us not only to the woman he married and the person she became after Alzheimer’s but also to the extraordinary individual who loves them both: her Marty.”
“With poignant clarity and candor, Schreiber provides readers with insight into the often incomprehensible world of a person living with Alzheimer’s disease as well as the many challenges faced by family caregivers. My Two Elaines is easily integrated into health-care curriculum, sparking rich discussions related to dementia, caregiving, anticipatory grief, advance care planning, and community support services. Feedback has been overwhelmingly positive, with many learners expressing gratitude for the opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of the family caregiver experience.”
Dr. Stacy Barnes
“My Two Elaines demonstrates beautifully that the journey is not just for the person with the diagnosis but for the spouse and family as well, and that it is a journey to not attempt alone and unsupported. [Marty’s] discussions will no doubt help those who may be afraid to admit they don’t have it all under control. I highly recommend this book. It is a quick read that provides a lot of great advice that will decrease the learning curve immensely.”
“Marty Schreiber has written a book that is invaluable to the Alzheimer’s community. His personal experience (and wisdom gained) as a caregiver is shared in such an honest and impactful way that it should be mandatory reading for all individuals who step forward in this capacity.”
“My Two Elaines provides real-life lessons about how to cope and survive each day with loving care, particularly when communication is lost. Marty helps caregivers work through their guilt and sheds light on making difficult decisions when professional care is needed for a loved one. Most of all, Marty brings us an amazing story of love, understanding, and hope. It is one of the most moving and powerful stories I’ve read.”
“I encourage my fellow health-care professionals to read and share this book.”
“I only wish my father had this book to help him during my own mother’s illness.”
“This book is a narrative tool to help increase people’s understanding of Alzheimer’s disease and related dementias (ADRDs) and the caregiver experience. . . . There are few narratives from the male caregiving perspective, and this resource provides a unique opportunity to learn about their challenges. . . . In addition, the book can be used in training programs for direct care workers to increase knowledge and understanding levels on these topics.”
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